I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
