but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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