I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
