Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
