Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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