it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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