??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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