your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize