She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
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he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
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