AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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