I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Blood and glitter go together right?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
