im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
