News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
