I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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