dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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