We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
