so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm both gender and math confused
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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