so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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