he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
