I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
