I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
