i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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