We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it's not cheating when I paid for it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
