He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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