Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize