Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize