We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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