they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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