Whod you bang
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber