Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
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He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
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I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b