You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
