she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
