she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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