I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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