i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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