with your own penis?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
