she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
