You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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