This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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