Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
