oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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