Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
