That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
