So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
