Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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