the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
