it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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