It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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