Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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