Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
