I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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