rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think your dad took our porno
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
