We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
