i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
