Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize