I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
