4 words: hood of his car
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
